In case if you are getting anger there is a best way to control it
3 Tips 4 2day
1) Count 1 to 10 forward and 10 to 1 reverse
2) Pat at the back of your palm thrice, saying relax (friends, today i implemented this when i negotiated with one of my customer on closing the deal, this too works :) )
3) This is Japaneses style. Go to a closed room say aloud "VATA SHIVA BAKA DESHU"
you want to know the meaning, no .. then you wont do this exercise.
PS: pls dont try saying to others, am not responsible for their reactions :)
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4 comments:
Hi,
By sheer coincidence I had to remember your article this morning.
I have a story to tell and let me know how you would react in such situations ?
I used to park my bike at neighbors courtyard as our building has no proper parking space. The place used to be a congested one with too many vehicles. Neighbor was all OK till a new tenant came to their first floor house. She used to park carelessly everywhere in the compound. I requested her many times to park her bike at some proper place. Not heeding to my advice she made couple of scratches on the owners car. So, who should be punished for this ? Don't know, I became the victim, as I am not their tenant.
Early in the morning as I was starting to office, the owner took me to task. I ignored his scathing talk till the point I was asked not to park my bike there anymore. At this point, I was about to loose temper on both the owner and the new lady. Thought of trying the exercise you mentioned. Instead, I gave a smile and left the place, thinking about this for next few hours, even as I was driving.
Now tell me - would it have helped if i have counted 1-10 and reverse ? I didn't have much patience to count, when I was hearing something of my discomfort.
would it have helped if i have patted my palm ? It would have shown him as my arrogance and I would have aggravated the situation.
Would it have helped if i have shouted something i dont understand ? I did't find a closed room or probably he would have roughed me up for that :(
I wouldn't have thought all these if I wouldn't have read your article. Now I am trying to understand the true nature of anger.
Before that let me tell you how I solved this problem. May be it worked this time, lucky me!
At that point, I was disturbed and didn't want to say anything and add more salt to wound. Instead, I deferred it to evening. when I came back this evening, I saw that there is some place in my own building which is occupied by my landlord's old bike. All I had to do now is to propose new place for that old bike, so that I can use its space. This time, I was cool enough to convince my landlord. The old junkie is now in the backyard... RIP :)
Thank god ! All problems solved.
Now, your article is a solution for controlling anger. What is the true reason for anger ? How about solving the reason itself ?
I think, conflict of interest, poor listening, argumentative talk are few reasons. My intention is to park the bike and neighbors is to prevent scratches to his car. Anger cannot be controlled till either of us backoff or desire of atleast one of them is satisfied. If I would have tried to convince him in the morning, I would have been a loser. what you say ?
If you put yourself in other persons shoes, see what he wants to see, say what he wants to hear, at the same time being assertive and able to defer arguments will be one more way of controlling anger. Patience and silence !
These are unexpected situations in life and each one has his/her way of tackling it.
Thought its apt to post this story here.
Wish, I don't face such practical jokes in life after reading an article on net ... Amen !
Yah, u can say things happening based on articles read... is a signal from HIM to face situations ;)
Keep posting,
seShadri
Hi Seshadri.
Uff... that's a big mail sir.
:) cool but anyway its ur live example.
Good that you remembered anger article at the spot. Psychologically the first one 1-10 10-1 could have been followed, then you would have been diverted from taking it to heart/mind for analysing and reacting. So here, instead of number, u remembered the article and got diverted.
The objective is anyway met. :) u forgot the issue
I would say you had done a smart job by smiling at the owner and the new lady. Other good thing u didn't open up in the morning as this would have spoiled your day. You had aimed for the alternative
My stance is
You Can Replace Anger, Doubt & Frustration with Calmness, Confidence & Peace of Mind
Here u didn't act angry instead u calm down
u didn't frustrate and confidently with peace of mind thought about the alternative one
Theres two things
1) Reaction
2) Response
following the second practise turns your life to brighter side
Reaction -> We hear it upon and react immediately without analysing the task
Response-> We listen, analyse and respond
You had responded to the issue you had faced instead of reacting to it :) Cool
hmmm... yes indeed... a big reply too :D
Sometimes wink of an eye and a smile on face gives reviving time to solve big problems...
Good luck with your customers !
seShadri
Hmm :)
Customers ?
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