Stop taking things personally

Stop Taking Things Personally

Do you feel hurt by someone on a regular basis?

If so, I suggest you learn how to stop taking things personally using self-help.
A Typical Example (official life)
Your boss hires a new employee who is obviously quite competent. You next discover that he's invited the new guy to a charity event you've been wanting to attend for six months.
When you find out, you feel hurt and angry. Your boss notices your dismay and invites you along. Feeling like an afterthought, you reject the invitation and fume over his insensitivity.
Why We Take Things Personally
We take things personally because we've trained our mind to do so.
We do not realize this, of course. When events trigger our outrage, we believe our hurt and anger is justified.
How We Take Things Personally
When we take another person's behavior personally, we do the following 3 things:
• Assume his behavior is a reflection of how he feels towards you (vs. a reflection on him and his environment)
• Magnify his hostility towards you by remembering similar ways you've been hurt in the past
• Activate your self-righteousness by believing you would never do this to him, e.g., treat him unfairly, reject him, under-appreciate him, etc.
You can magnify hostility the same way you amplify love: by mentally reflecting on events and giving them meaning.
When we amplify love, we think about how wonderful, inspiring, and funny our partner is.
When we amplify hostility, we think about how much another person is trying to hurt, undermine, or embarrass us.
I'm not suggesting that people never do hurtful things
There is much unconsciousness in the world, and people do transgress against us.
Sometimes, the person is acting a little rejective towards you in an effort to communicate something important.
However, there are more effective ways to handle negative events than taking them personally.
Which I shall continue in few of my next postings